Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
