i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
