Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
