at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
