are you so shy because you have an std?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
