i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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