I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
