You're my little dorito
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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