just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
