i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Church boner. Awkwardddd
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
