Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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