Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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