4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
