Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
