This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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