dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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