just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
