Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
