In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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