Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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