also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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