love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
