Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
