It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Terrible idea I love it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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