is your mom at the bar?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
