Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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