I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think i have two assholes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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