the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
