bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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