very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
