Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
