Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
