He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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