that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
