You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
