His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
