he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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