It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
