You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
