Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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