Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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