Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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