Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was born a porn star she said
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
