I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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