and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
