plz talk dirty to me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
