some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
