How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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