Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
