Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
