We won't sleep together?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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